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It has been just been brought to my attention by Tim P. that there exists an Elevator Escalator Safety Foundation. That's right: an entire non-profit organization dedicated to safety on elevators, escalators, and moving sidewalks. Allow me to quote a brief history of the foundation.

"In 1988, the National Association of Elevator Safety Authorities (NAESA) established a committee to investigate the possibility of forming a Foundation to educate the public, particularly children, on how to safely ride elevators and escalators. "

So the NAESA decided to start a committee to see if it was possible to form a foundation to educate the public about safety.

First of all, why do you need a seperate foundation to teach safety? What's wrong with the NAESA publishing books, or subcontracting with companies to make materials such as "Elevator Riding for Dummies (literally)"?

Second of all, why the hell do you need to educate people about elevator safety in the first place?? It's not that hard. You get on, you push a button, you get off. If you can't figure out how to safely ride an elevator, you deserve to get crushed between the doors.

Oh by the way, did you know that National Elevator Escalator Safety Awareness Week (or NEESAW for short) is coming up? ("Mission: To educate the public on the safe and proper use of elevators, escalators and moving walks through informational programs." )

That's right; an entire week dedicated to teaching and promoting elevator safety. Complete with informational programs (which consist of people using elevators without getting injured-- a real challenge, apparently.)

I did a little research: There were only 37 deaths directly caused by elevators or escalators in the three-year period between 1997 and 2000, and an average of 30-31 deaths per year between 1992 and 2000, including accidents occuring while working on or repairing elevators.

Most of the 30 yearly deaths happened to elevator repairmen and not users, so a safety foundation wouldn't really help them. But here is an example death that occured during everyday usage:

"On December 1, 1993, the 46 year-old owner of a clothing manufacturing company was killed after falling 15 feet down a freight elevator shaft. The incident occurred in a large three-story warehouse where the victim was renting space for his clothing manufacturing business. At about 5 p.m., the owner was trying to move a customer order from his second floor work shop to the loading dock on the first floor. Because the call buttons on the freight elevator were not functioning, the victim went to the first floor to raise the elevator to the second floor. Not realizing that the elevator was on the second floor, the victim opened the elevator door in the dark vestibule and stepped into the empty elevator shaft, falling 15 feet into the warehouse basement."

Is it REALLY neccessary to have a foundation to tell you to check the frickin elevator shaft BEFORE you step into it?? How the HELL do you not notice that there's not a FUCKING ELEVATOR IN THE FUCKING SHAFT? I mean really. Come on.

STATISTICAL INFORMATION

In the United States . . .
> There are an estimated 600,000 elevators and 30,000 escalators.
> Over 90 billion riders travel on escalators each year.
> Over 120 billion riders travel on elevators each year.

over 210 billion riders every year, and only 30 of them die. I'm glad to see what people spend money on instead of worthwhile causes like food and schooling.

Oh, by the way, in case you feel you need to brush up on your elevator/escalator safety, you should check out this insightful flash presentation. http://www.eesf.org/safetrid/wtp/safetriderlarge.htm . It's Safe T. Rider the cat dancing around in a disconcertingly hypnotizing fashion while informing you how to step into an elevator without plummeting thirty floors to your death.

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