[.blog]

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So tonight's tailgate was fun. We had a large turnout. Jenny brought her new Mustang:







Jon brought a can of chili:






I had to urinate. On her tire.








Chili + Mustang = Brown Love?









She got pissed (har) and sped off. She peeled out (probably on accident). The tire left rubber and a spray of urine out the rear.



She went to get a car wash, which took her like an hour (and she didn't even get one), and she was late to cheerleading, and her parents found out, and she got in a lot of trouble. We cleaned off the chili.





After the game, I put a sausage in my pants. (it was already in the condom... don't ask.) Here's a close-up:



I gave Jenny a hug, then lifted up my shirt. Then Matt called over Tori, and I asked for a hug, and she looked down and screamed and ran away. (This is probably the first and last time I'll ever talk to her.)

After like ten minutes of waving at cars and "hanging out" jokes, we decide to go to Sonic. At Sonic, I wave to more cars. Then we decide to go to "fifth quarter" at Chic-Fil-A. It's a crowded resturaunt full of cheerleaders, several administrators, and the entire varsity football team.

And I've got a sausage in my pants.



I give Jenny another hug (and hump her all the way out the door), try to give Robin a hug, and generally scare random people. Then someone tells me to go out to three random lionettes in a truck in the parking lot and ask for some buns.


So I did. One was Sunny Warner, one was Sam McDonald, and the third was someone I don't know who was on her cell phone the entire time. And Jared, the football player, was leaning against the truck.

It was dark, but here's a picture:



Basically, I ask them for some buns. They're like, what? I say buns for a hot dog. Or a bratwurst. Sam asks me why I don't just go over to a grocery store and buy some? I look at her. "I like your thinking," I say. Then Jared makes some crack about having buns. Oh the irony. If he only knew I was referring to the sausage in my pants. Unfortunately, I didn't have the testicular fortitude to jump up on the bumper, whip it out, and say "I need a bun for my SAUSAGE!"





But I did throw it at them as we drove off. Condom and all.

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